To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before

“Well, what do you put into a contract for a real relationship?”–Lara Jean “Nothing. You gotta trust. You gonna break my heart Covey?”–Peter   Lately, I’ve been really self-absorbed. I bought two books, Conversations With Friends by Sally Rooney and Love and Other Consolation Prizes by Jamie Ford a few days ago because the plots and characters seemed very similar to me and my life. I watched To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before because the plot, especially the main character, reminded me so much of me. This Asian-American girl with a white father and an older sister who goes to university…

Beginnings and Ends

Sublimation: a phase transition from a solid to a gas, without passing through an intermediate liquid state of being It’s been nearly a month since we left the torrent of Middelburg and began the adventure of Dublin. But where does this adventure actually begin? I can’t draw clear lines between one experience and the next, as they seamlessly flow together. I think. Did my adventure of Dublin begin with the moving process away from Middelburg? Did it begin with the formal conclusion of my time in university? How am I supposed to measure my personal growth, or organize life-changing experiences…

Heels Over Head

I hate how I try so hard to prevent things from happening “the wrong way” just to end up hanging upside down, heels over head. Seconds ago I was head over heels. How does this happen? A two week intense romance, is just that. Intense. But I’m a romantic, and didn’t listen to the intensity too much. On our first date I felt pulled towards him. This stranger cloaked in shadow, hidden behind cigarette smoke. He was so different than the others. Tattoos on both arms, sunglasses on a cloudy Monday evening. He felt reckless. I’ve only felt that strong…

Christmas Eve in July

Last night I watched Love, Rosie. If you haven’t seen it, don’t bother, as it wasn’t anything special. But for every reason why it wasn’t special, that’s the reason why I went to bed last night feeling like tomorrow would be Christmas. The plot’s time span is about 20 years, in which you see two teenage friends who are secretly in love, grow up and lead separate lives, all the while checking in with what the other is doing. And just like every other chick flick, yes, Lily Collins and Sam Claflin do end up together. But that’s besides the…

The Italian Getaway

I knew taking a five day trip away from Middelburg days before the big move to Ireland was risky business. But anxiety about the next time I would be able to jet off to foreign places propelled me to do it anyways. As my aunt had mentioned during grad week: I’m afraid of being trapped. Two days before I was set to meet Mieke in Brussels, I had a meltdown. Actually, it was the second meltdown in one week. I had been agitated, anxious, and upset over the state of my moving process. Furniture wasn’t sold according to my predetermined…