From internalizations

The Back Page Chronicles

Three hooded figures walk into The Back Page, I was sipping a Bulmers, waiting for one of them. The first has black hair and hazel eyes. He’s about my height, and he’s from California. He was my teenage dream, my first real crush. We went on dates, refusing to call them so. He was my first dance, my first car ride with the windows down, my first dictionary filled with inside jokes. He sits down across from me and looks me squarely in the eye. “It’s been a long time” I say, “How have you been? It’s really good to…

Diakonos

By George I think I’ve found it! I think I found the church that I’m meant to be a part of while I’m here in Dublin, and I feel so good and so relieved and so happy, I feel like I’m flying on the wings of Jesus. There are old people, young people, contemporary music, great sermons, are incredibly friendly and welcoming, and have a ton of different languages and nationalities present. It’s not too big, not too small, and seems to be growing rapidly while keeping it’s feet firmly planted in what matters most about teaching the Word of…

Cogito, ergo, sum

You’ve heard it everywhere: the story that you tell yourself, or the story that you tell others about yourself, greatly impacts how you view yourself, what you believe to be true about yourself. And you act on your beliefs. I think, therefore I am in this case has never been truer. And if we want to change how we think of ourselves, who we believe we are, what things we think are true about ourselves, we have to change our story, our frame of reference, how we tell it. The power of words is immense. I’ve done some hard digging,…

Beginnings and Ends

Sublimation: a phase transition from a solid to a gas, without passing through an intermediate liquid state of being It’s been nearly a month since we left the torrent of Middelburg and began the adventure of Dublin. But where does this adventure actually begin? I can’t draw clear lines between one experience and the next, as they seamlessly flow together. I think. Did my adventure of Dublin begin with the moving process away from Middelburg? Did it begin with the formal conclusion of my time in university? How am I supposed to measure my personal growth, or organize life-changing experiences…

The Italian Getaway

I knew taking a five day trip away from Middelburg days before the big move to Ireland was risky business. But anxiety about the next time I would be able to jet off to foreign places propelled me to do it anyways. As my aunt had mentioned during grad week: I’m afraid of being trapped. Two days before I was set to meet Mieke in Brussels, I had a meltdown. Actually, it was the second meltdown in one week. I had been agitated, anxious, and upset over the state of my moving process. Furniture wasn’t sold according to my predetermined…