1:20 am and I’m thinking faster than sleep can catch up. Dreams can’t take me as I’m absorbed in memory.
Remember when we biked around Maastricht, and you showed me your childhood home? Your primary school across the street. One bike was all we needed. Our two backpacks, and an autumn breeze behind us. Always familiar with something new. Like Luxembourg.
Remember when I saw you singing on stage? It was dark, and I was alone. You colored your words and painted pictures from only six strings. I sped down the highway at midnight in the back of a cab and spent the night in an airport. No scandals in Scandinavia, just me and my blue shirt.
Remember when you fist pumped until the sun set? Walking sideways down the trail, Michael Jackson blasting and I was laughing. You didn’t believe me when I told you I’d never been kissed. Two weeks and twenty feet deep, you showed me colors I couldn’t see.
Remember when you cracked my heart? Led me to believe we were characters in the same story. Two different genres withholding different secrets, and I couldn’t escape you like the others. Twenty seasons later, and you’re still nineteen. But Cinderella outgrew her slipper.
Remember when you came over, and I admitted to playing dumb? You knew I knew, and there was a cautious sparkle between us. We dropped the defenses, laid our cards on the table, and ran with it. Now you can find us eating hummus on the beach, or sipping wine from a water bottle.
Remember when you left me alone, wondering what to do with my Wednesdays? A somber semester, but I was so proud of you. August came quicker, and we were together again binge watching YouTube. You had taken flight, and returned a magnificent eagle.
Remember when we sat in the dark, stranded on an island with our insecure thoughts? Mourning our dreams and dying wishes. Hiding under bunk beds in the back room. No one to trust but each other. Despacito and dancing on broken glass.
Sleep has caught up and my rewind slows. Exhaustion pulls through and I’m falling into the world of many questions. Down into silence.