One on one time. Lights. Trees. Sunrises. Hot tea and warm scarves.
Laughter and conversation. Silence. Thunder Cake. Birds chirping. Being known. Breathing in, letting it go, and hanging on tight. I have a thing for the unindustrialized, the unstructured, the whimsical, and everything outside the lines. This week’s events were filled with hypnotic glittering circles and commonalities found in others. New relationships, old relationships, filled with twists and turns. Spending time with these people also reintroduced me to Could Be, Strive to Be, and Used to Be in new ways.
Could Be: She was dressed in watercolor and fireworks. Inspiration was her core, she went wherever the wind blew her, and was filled with grace in movement and attitude. She could morph into whomever she wanted while retaining her watercolor state of mind. A gypsy who sells everything in the name of passion and adventure. The cheesy love song we could write together. The lotus flower blossoming in the mud. The grandmother with a weathered smile and a sparkle in her eye. And ultimately the woman I would like to become. No matter what she chooses, she’s sure that things will turn out alright, and continues her ethereal walk across my day dreams, effortlessly chasing away my fears.
Ms. Strive to Be: She’s the analytical one. The calculative one. The protective one. She admires Could Be, but is more pragmatic, and favors Big Brother, because Big Brother has his shit together, and is within tangible reach. He’s always one step ahead, but simultaneously has her back. They have fun together, but she respects him because he teaches her about mistakes, problem solving, and understanding. Ms. Strive to Be is more concrete than Could Be, but is no less enchanting, because she still has Inspiration as her core. She’s ambitious with stars in her eyes, a plan in her head, and shoes on her feet.
Finally, I met Used to Be. And I would say she was the most dynamic.
Used to Be was young, naive, scared, excited, and broken all at once. She bounced out of the shadows, and blindly followed Could Be and Ms. Strive to Be like a puppy with an older dog’s eyes. She remembered when Ms. Strive to Be met Big Brother, and she remembered when Could Be felt that twinge of possibility grow from within. Used to Be remembered life before Could Be and Strive to Be, yet she was what they Used to Be. She wasn’t a memory or an empty shell, but a point of reference, and a place to start.
I’ve known all three for quite some time now, but marveled at how much they had grown since last time we spoke. They’ve become clearer, still waters that run deeper.
I'm a California girl who wears her heart on her sleeve and always has her head in the clouds. I currently live in the Netherlands and am attending university at a small honors liberal arts college in the south. I have an artist's soul, a corny sense of humor, and a ravenous mind that hunts down the meaning of life everywhere I go. I love traveling, learning, questioning, experiencing, and am an anthropology and political science major who loves to write and make up stories about the absurdity of the world we live in. Like reading my posts? Please follow!